


The Moments In Between: A Shipwright's Suspicion

by BattleScarredRaven



Series: The Moments In Between [4]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Guardian Pregnancy, Saint is everybody's nice bird uncle fight me on this, Someone give this man a break, Zavala is such a dad to Holliday I swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27941831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleScarredRaven/pseuds/BattleScarredRaven
Summary: Zavala has been acting strange lately. Most people think it's the threat of the encroaching Darkness and the stress of war getting to him.Amanda Holliday isn't 'most people', though, and has known Zavala far too long to know when something more is up.It's just... not anything she was expecting.Takes place between chapters 4 ('Cradle') and 5 ('Nightmare) of'Blessings of the Traveler'.
Relationships: Amanda Holliday & Zavala, Amanda Holliday/Sloane (mentioned/implied), Ikora Rey/Zavala (mentioned)
Series: The Moments In Between [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023943
Kudos: 5





	The Moments In Between: A Shipwright's Suspicion

**Author's Note:**

> I never, ever want to write so much Southern drawl ever again. Especially Holliday's because hers isn't like your typical Texan drawl.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! This is probably gonna be my last in-between moment for a little while.

**_“Hope can be a fragile thing, but also a powerful motivator. We all need that in these dark and trying times. Even the most steadfast of us.”_** \- Commander Zavala.

* * *

_ Amanda Holliday pulled herself from the guts of a Guardian’s ship, wiping one grease covered hand on her forehead, and dangling a wrench from the other by her side. A Frame wordlessly took the tool from her seconds later, replacing it with a small welding torch without the young shipwright even prompting or seemingly taking notice. Instead, Amanda surveyed her handiwork, before pulling her goggles down over her eyes to continue fixing the ship; her sixth or seventh one she had personally attended to today. Normally, her team would be lucky to have that amount divided among them  _ **_all_ ** _ , let alone have that many individually. Things hadn’t been this busy since the end of the Red War. _

_ It was just another reminder that things lately hadn’t exactly been normal. And, speaking of things that weren’t normal… Amanda frowned, welding the piece of metal she needed to fix, before dropping completely out of the ship again, motioning to her workbench, pushing her goggles off her eyes to check the time. Her frown only deepened when she realised it was a good forty-five minutes after Zavala would normally pop in to check on her. Because it was the height of summer, the lighter evenings meant she hadn’t really paid attention to the time until now. _

_ Amanda sighed quietly to herself. It just wasn’t like him. Even while they were marooned on Titan, he had always made a point to check up on her at least once a day. When the Almighty had threatened to crash down on the City and the Commander sometimes was out in the field himself, he’d still contact her on vidcom. And when he had told her that Sloane - wonderful, kind, magnificent, Deputy-Commander Sloane - wasn’t coming back to the Tower, perhaps ever, and she had cried herself to exhaustion on one of Zavala’s shoulder pauldrons, he’d made certain to come and check on her twice as often. _

_ But now, these past couple of months, nothing. Or, when he did come, he was late, looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and barely spent any time with her at all. Amanada wouldn’t have minded the latter so much - Zavala was and would always be a man of duty first, she knew that as much as anyone - but combined with everything else… _

_ It wasn’t just the threat of those damn Pyramids closing in, no matter what anyone else said. She hadn’t known Zavala as long as, say, Shaxx, or Ikora (or Sloane, as much as she wished she could stop thinking about her for a moment), but the shipwright had known him long enough to know when something wasn’t right with him. He had raised her; he was practically her father, even if he had often insisted otherwise. It wasn’t just the stress of this latest war, it wasn’t, it  _ **_wasn’t_ ** _...! _

_ “Everything alright, Holliday?” _

_ Amanda’s head snapped up at the sound of thick, Russian-accented words cutting through her thoughts, stopping them dead. She could only blink at the silver and purple armoured Titan in confusion for a moment before a dull throbbing in her knuckles made her realise she had been pounding her worktable subconsciously with a fist. She unclenched her fingers, offering the newcomer an apologetic smile. _

_ “‘M fine, Saint. Jus’ a lil worked up, that’s all! Y’know how it goes.” _

_ If she had hoped to send him away with that brief explanation, then Amanda utterly failed, for the Exo Titan didn’t move at all. Instead, he continued on, in his usual, cheerful demeanour. “Ah. Complicated ship repairs driving you to despair?” _

_ “Somethin’ like that.” The shipwright didn’t mind bending rules when it was needed, but she didn’t like directly lying to people’s faces. However, she didn’t want to give voice to what was bothering her, either. “Nothin’ this gal ‘n’ ‘er team can’t handle though!” _

_ Saint-14 chuckled at her. “You remind me of old Shipwright Hiponia. He never took a break either.” He paused a moment, staring out of the hangar towards the mountains surrounding the City. To the current shipwright, he looked as if he was reminiscing, or deep in thought, and she waited patiently for him to continue. Finally, after a moment, he did, though not with a sentence she expected. “You look like you could do with the distraction, my friend.” _

_ Amanda leaned heavily on her bionic leg, folding her arms. “As much as I ‘preciate th’offer ‘n’ all, Saint, work’s plenty distractin’ enough for me. An’ as you can see, I gotta lot of it.” _

_ “Not distracting enough to keep you from checking your clock, it would seem.” Saint pointed out gently, but no less matter-of-fact. “Come now. When is the last time you ate?” _

_ The young shipwright opened her mouth to protest that she wasn’t quite hungry yet, that she could work for a little while longer yet, but her stomach chose that exact moment to growl loudly, much to her embarrassment. She averted her gaze with a slight blush, pressing her lips back together again. _

_ “Aha! I knew it!” The Titan chuckled at her, playfully, but gently reaching across to clap one of her shoulders with a hand. “Come now, to my ship! Gepetto and I have been preparing treats all day, and as much as I would like eating them all myself, I think they are best shared with another.” _

_ It would be pointless to try and worm her way out of Saint’s offer now, Amanda knew. Even the most kind-hearted of Titans were more stubborn than a mule, in her experience. So, after tossing her goggles onto her workbench and swapping her dirty gloves for a pair of clean ones, she relented and followed the Exo back to his ship, the  _ **Gray Pigeon** _. Purple ribbons streamed from its silver hull, billowing in the slight breeze that blew from one end of the hangar to the other, and Amanda couldn’t help but watch them for a moment. _

_ “She’s a beautiful ship, isn’t she?” Saint called from somewhere near where he had set up all his Trials feeds, snapping the shipwright from her reverie. He straightened up from behind a crate, a large plate of what appeared to be cookies in one hand. “But not as beautiful as these treats, I assure you.” _

_ The smell of chocolate and freshly cooked baked goods filled Amanda’s nose, reminding her of the cooking Eva Levante did at Dawning, even though that particular festivity was still over half a year away yet. The memory brought a smile to her lips. “Did’ya borrow Eva’s recipe for that?” _

_ Saint-14 scratched the side of his helmet with his free hand; Exo couldn’t blush, but Amanda had long learned that was most Exos’ tell for it. Dallas-13 was much the same; Cayde had been a little more expressive about it. Even Banshee-44, in his rare moments of embarrassment, expressed it the same way. Amanda’s smile only grew. _

_ “What can I say?” The Sentinel eventually offered with a chuckle and an innocent shrug, “Miss Levante has wonderful taste in cooking. And her cookbook is most excellent!” _

_ He walked towards her, offering her the plate. Amanda took a cookie, thinking back to the couple of cooking lessons Eva had tried to teach her, and agreed with Saint’s statement with a nod. _

_ “That it is. There’s even some things in there I can follow!” The shipwright snapped her cookie in half, gesturing with the left half as she spoke. “‘N’ this gal here is a terrible cook!” _

_ They both laughed then, eating their cookies while bantering easily and freely. He might not have been Zavala, or Sloane, but Amanda couldn’t help but find herself at ease around Saint just as easily as she often found herself around those two. So when he brought the conversation back around to his initial question to her, it was almost like a blow to the back. _

_ “Something troubles you, Holliday. I know it.” He spoke quietly, like a parent trying to gently pry information out of a scared, young child. “I cannot force you to talk, but know that you can tell this old Titan anything, alright?” _

_ Her blue eyes met his purple ones encased in their silver-blue metal frames. It was strange seeing Saint without his helmet on; that feather-crested piece of armour had practically become his symbol, his face. It would be like seeing Shaxx without his signature, one-horned helmet, or Ikora not wearing her usual purple robe. The shipwright did not let her gaze linger, however, soon casting her eyes to the ground. _

_ She wanted to tell him about her concern about Zavala, she really did, but her other heartbreak wormed its way out of her mouth before she could. “I miss Sloane.” _

_ She heard the Exo Titan’s violet eyes shutter audibly. “Sloane?” There was a long pause as Saint seemed to scour his memories for a moment, before he eventually came up with, “The former Stoneborn and one of my fellow Firebreakers?  _ **_That_ ** _ Sloane?” _

_ Amanda nodded, her expression fond, but sad. “That’d be the one, yeah. Though I warn ya, it’s Deputy-Commander Sloane now. Or, well…” She swallowed the knot in her throat. “She was.” _

_ Saint-14 tilted his head. It might have been endearing had the conversation not been so serious. “Was?” _

_ “She’s stayin’ on Titan, despite Zavala tellin’ her to come back to the City. She was plannin’ to stop by for a brief goodbye, but I dunno when and no-one’s heard from ‘er in a while, and…” Before she could stop herself, the shipwright’s emotions got the better of her, tears stinging her sky blue eyes as her grief spilled out, now uncontainable. “And Zavala rarely visits me down ‘ere no more, ‘n’ he’s been helpin’ me deal with all this, ‘n’ it’s just-!” _

_ Strong arms wrapped around her and Amanda suddenly found her face buried into a silver chestplate and her sobs muffled. She leaned forward gratefully, her knees threatening to give out. Even her bionic leg seemed to struggle under the crushing weight of emotion. _

_ “There, there. Let it all out, my friend.” Saint rested his chin on top of the shipwright’s head, hands rubbing her back tenderly. _

_ “What the hell do I even say to ‘er, Saint? ‘Cause if I see ‘er, I ain’t ever gonna wanna let ‘er go…” _

_ “You make whatever time you have together last as long as you can. And the best. It is all you can do.” The Exo Titan told her soothingly. “Though… I suspect this advice is not of much comfort to you, even if it is the truth.” _

_ Amanda pulled back a little, just enough for her tearful gaze to meet his. “Better than… no comfort at all… Damn it, I… I miss ‘er so much, Saint. ‘N’ she ain’t even gone for what’s most likely gonna be for good yet.” _

_ “Do not say things like this. She will come back to you, Holliday. If anyone can survive a Pyramid invasion, it is Sloane. For someone she cares about, doubly so.” _

_ The shipwright wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand in a vain attempt to dry them. “I... I hope yer right, Saint. Really do…” _

_ “Amanda!” _

_ Both Titan and shipwright flicked their heads up in alarm at the sound of a familiar voice calling the latter’s name. Off on the far side of the hangar, they soon spied the expected uneven shoulder pauldrons and bald blue-white head that could only belong to one person… _

_ “Zavala!” _

_ Saint released the young blonde-haired woman from his grasp without a fight, letting her rush the other Titan who was almost comically slow on the uptake of her hug as she barrelled into him, full tilt. The Exo allowed them a moment, both out of courtesy and to put his helmet back on, before he caught up with them both. _

_ “Zavala.” He greeted the Titan Vanguard with a respectful tilt of his head, his tone formal but not without warmth. “We were just talking about you, old friend.” _

_ “Good things, I hope.” The Awoken tried to smile and make light of things, but Saint had known him for long enough to see the tiredness within the other man’s normally hard set, stoic eyes and recognise it for what was rather than what Zavala  _ **_wanted_ ** _ it to be. The Commander patted Amanda’s back, almost fatherly in his tenderness, his expression swiftly changing to apologetic. “I apologise for keeping you waiting, Amanda. Something… came up.” _

_ Amanda swallowed, both in fear and hope. “... Sloane?” _

_ Two pairs of blue eyes locked with one another, and the moment they did, Zavala realised his poor choice of words. “No, no…” He caught himself, backpedalling before he could use yet more bad choices of words. “I mean… she is fine, at least by her last report. But what indisposed me was nothing to do with Sloane, or any of our other people on the ground, for that matter.” _

_ The Titan’s gaze broke away from the shipwright’s, who released the breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding up until that point. Before Amanda could speak, the other Titan in their presence gave the Commander a knowing nod. _

_ “If you need me, I will be tending to the birds. They come to roost here about this time of day, and I would see them fed before they rest.” Saint respectfully excused himself from the conversation. _

_ Amanda grabbed his wrist before he could move, stilling him. “Whatever Zavala’s gotta say t’me, he can say t’you, too.” _

_ Zavala’s lips began to move, but Saint surprised them both with a hearty chuckle, turning to put his free hand on the shipwright’s shoulder with a shake of his head. “Zavala and I have known each other a long time, Holliday. We know each other’s language, even when we do not speak. And when a Titan wills something of another who truly understands them, they do not need words to convey their wants; trust me on this. And right now… I think Zavala has something sensitive to discuss with you. If it is something I need to know, too, I am sure I will in due time.” _

_ Amanda let him go. Zavala gave his Exo counterpart a tired smile. _

_ “Thank you, Saint.” He folded his hands behind his back. “For looking out for Amanda and… for your understanding.” _

_ “Sometimes, secrets must be kept, old friend. I do not take offense at this.” Saint assured him with another nod, before turning heel to return to his ship and his pigeons, leaving Commander and shipwright alone. _

_ “May we chat by your workbench?” Zavala gestured that way once the legendary Titan was out of earshot. _

_ “If ya promise ya gonna tell me what’s goin’ on ‘n’ stop worryin’ th’ hell outta me, sure.” _

_ “I promise. I wouldn’t be asking to go somewhere more secluded if I wasn’t planning on doing so.” _

_ They moved across to Amanda’s workbench. Zavala leaned on one of the posts supporting the roof of her little nook, looking decidedly Cayde-like in his posture. He caught himself staring at the aforementioned Hunter’s cloak adorning the back of the shipwright’s workspace; he hadn’t seen the cloak since Dallas-13 broke into his office demanding to be made Vanguard months ago, and the black and red fabric had been adorning her back. He had assumed she had kept it for herself hidden somewhere, but evidently, she had in actuality given it to the woman before him.  _

_ As for the shipwright herself, she sat on the saddle on a half built Sparrow she was working on, her bionic leg dangling freely as her eyes studied Zavala, as if trying to work out what he could possibly have to tell her. _

_ “I’m… ‘m not mad.” She spoke finally, breaking the silence. _

_ “I know.” _

_ Her boot gently hit the side of the half built Sparrow with a gentle thunk. “Like, I get it, y’know? I got ships t’fix, you got your Vanguard duties. ‘N’ ‘m not gonna stop ya from doin’ what ya gotta do, but lately…” She paused, catching herself before her emotions can turn her earlier words into a lie. “We had somethin’ good. You’ve always been there for me, even when we had t’run to Titan. A lil ‘eads up ya gonna be busy would be nice sometimes, y’know?” _

_ There was another silence as Zavala considered his words carefully. Though Amanda claimed not to be upset with him, he could feel her emotions welling beneath the surface. He knew he hadn’t been fair to her of late. _

_ “I’ll… be mindful of that in the future if it is my duty that keeps me from you.” Zavala told her, voice quiet. “On this occasion, however, it wasn’t.” _

_ “Then why-?” _

_ “Something… personal.” _

_ The interruption halted the shipwright in her tracks. Her eyes were fixed on the Commander now, curious and unblinking. _

_ “Amanda… what I’m about to tell you, you must swear to never tell another soul until I tell you it is okay to do so.” _

_ She blinked at last in confusion. For someone who had promised his explanation would not worry the hell out of her anymore than she currently was, Zavala was doing a pretty terrible job. As much as Amanda hated to think of the Commander in any form of negative light... “If that’s s’posed to make me feel better…” _

_ “Holliday.” He cut her off again sharply, trying to get her to focus. Perhaps a bit too sharp, if the way his face softened into a guilty expression was any indication. When he addressed her next, his voice was gentle, eyes framed in apology. “Amanda. I… I’m trying. But… I need your word. Please.” _

_ Amanda couldn’t recall a time Zavala has ever begged for anything, at least in front of her. The concern that came with it was enough to startle a nod from her. _

_ “Y’got m’word, Zavala. Not tha’ ya need it. Y’know I’ll never say anythin’ ‘bout what we discuss.” _

_ “I know.” Zavala answered with those same two words again, looking off to one side. “Sometimes… it’s good to be reminded of that every once in a while.” _

_ The shipwright stared after him, following his gaze for a moment, before settling back on the Awoken Titan once more. She’s seen this look a few times before. He’s stalling, she knows it. She was even willing to wager Glimmer that he knows she knows. But she doesn’t say anything. Not yet. She knows Zavala likes to take his time to put his thoughts together, especially for things that were large or serious, as this seemed to be. Not knowing which it was put her on edge, though, making her want to say something even as she was refraining from doing so. _

_ Finally, the Titan Vanguard spoke again. “It’s… “ He gave a cursory glance around them, before continuing, even quieter, “It’s Ikora.” _

_ A breath escaped Amanda. Relief that it truly wasn’t anything to do with Sloane, but also surprised it was to do with Ikora. It had been no secret she had disagreed with how Zavala had handled Cayde’s death (even if the two Vanguard leaders had pretended otherwise), but from what the shipwright had heard, it sounded like they had pretty much made up from that now, especially in light of Dallas-13 assuming the Hunter Vanguard position. Unless… she had heard wrong? _

_ “What’s she done now?” Amanda asked, trying not to sound too accusatory. She might have been close to Zavala, but she had also been all for the vengeance Ikora had sought after Cayde’s death. _

_ But the Titan just shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “It’s not what Ikora’s done, but what  _ **_I’ve_ ** _ done.” _

_ The shipwright shot him an odd look. It was rare for the great Vanguard Commander to make mistakes; even rarer for him to admit to them in public. “What th’ hell did  _ **_you_ ** _ do?” _

_ “I…” He began, taking in a deep breath. “Ikora, she’s…” He swallowed the knot in his throat. “She’s...  _ **_expecting_ ** _.” _

_ That floored Amanda faster than any bad news about Sloane surely ever could have. She had heard whispers the Warlock Vanguard wasn’t well, but had chalked it down to stress, like everyone else. She was almost grateful Zavala couldn’t see her dropped jaw right about now. How, when-? But even as those questions formed in the young shipwright’s mind, she realised the implications behind Zavala’s words instantly. _

_ “You…?” She breathed out the half-formed question, barely daring to ask it, but desperate for the confirmation. _

_ Zavala nodded once. Slowly. “Yes.” _

_ Before he could stop her, Amanda sprung from the Sparrow chassis she was sat on, closing the gap between them in a couple of strides and enveloping the Commander in the tightest hug she could muster, uncaring about the fact that his armour would almost certainly leave bruises on her pale skin later where she pressed against it. _

_ The Titan Vanguard’s eyes snapped open in shock, his arms flailing slightly as he struggled mentally with where exactly to put them. “Amanda…?” _

_ “‘M so happy for you. You guys deserve some joy after all that’s been thrown our way lately.” She told him before he could get any more words out, her voice sincere. “I take it ya been lookin’ after her, then?” _

_ Zavala settled his arms on Amanda’s back. “Yes. Ikora’s… not been well with it all. Morning sickness, mostly.” He pulled back, studying the shipwright for a moment at an arm’s length. “You’re not upset with me?” _

_ “Why’d’ya think I’d be upset at ya for carin’ ‘bout someone important to ya?” She chuckled at him as if it were all a silly notion. Perhaps it was. “I mean, okay, yeah, I was kinda upset you’d not been vistin’, but I was more worried than anythin’ ‘cause I didn’t know what was goin’ on! But if that’s the reason… ‘M jus’ glad yer okay, y’know? ‘N’ Ikora too. Was startin’ t’think this damn war was gettin’ to ya both.” _

_ A relieved sigh escaped the Titan before her. _

_ “I’m glad you’re okay with it. I… I was wondering if I should even tell you at all.” He admitted softly. “What with Sloane and all.” _

_ Amanda’s eyes widened slightly. There was no way he knew about her and Sloane… _

_ But he just smiled at her, seemingly reading her mind. “I know I have my other duties, but do not think me blind to other situations ongoing around me. I noticed the subtle change in both your demeanours during our stay on Titan. And when you cried into my shoulder when I told you Sloane was more than likely going to stay on Siren’s Watch to face the Pyramid head on, that all but confirmed it for me.” _

_ The shipwright frowned. No use trying to hide things now. “Ya don’t approve?” _

_ “I’m not your father. Though… even if I was, you’re a grown woman. What you do in your spare time and who you spend it with is none of my business, as long as it doesn’t harm the City.” _

_ “Yer as good as.” Amanda reminded him. “But, s’pose yer right.” A smile spread across her face suddenly. “Same back atcha, by the way.” _

_ Zavala inclined his head to one side slightly. “What do you mean?” _

_ She laughed at his attempt to feign innocence. “Y’know.” She nudged him playfully. “You ‘n’ Ikora…” _

_ “We’re not…” He began, tips of his ears turning pink.  _

_ “Relax, Zavala. Jus’ teasin’ ya. Lighten up, would ya?” _

_ Zavala couldn’t help but allow the small smile on his face. “Speaking of lightening up… I’m going to try and get Sloane to deliver me her next report in person. Try and convince her to stay one final time. A… a child is cause for hope, but we need more than that…” _

_ He was cut off by the shipwright’s hand on his right shoulder. _

_ “You’ll convince her. Y’know why? ‘Cause you’ll have me helpin’.” _

_ “Hopefully, that will be enough. If I can’t even rally the people together, what hope do I have with…” _

_ Amanda punched him lightly on the shoulder she had been holding, snapping Zavala out of his despair. She knew what he had been about to say, and was having none of it. “Hey now, don’t be goin’ thinkin’ like that! You raised me good enough to become a shipwright ‘n’ I had nothin’ when I came to th’ City. Y’gonna be a good dad. Tryna keep us all together and seein’ it potentially fall apart don’t make ya a bad leader. Or…” She lowered her voice. “Or a bad parent.” _

_ Zavala’s fond smile grew. There was a look of pride in his otherwise tired, glowing eyes. When had Amanda grown so wise? He blinked at her, only to find she was gone. When he next heard her voice, she was halfway across to Saint’s jumpship. _

_ “C’mon, Zavala! Saint made some cookies that rival even Eva’s, ‘n’ there are a few left over! You gotta try ‘em!” _

_ The Titan Commander looked over to her. He should get back to Ikora, make sure she was okay, but this was the happiest he had seen Amanda for a while, so he would indulge her. Perhaps tell Saint the news too, if he hadn’t been eavesdropping in on them. _

_ “Alright. I’ll stay for a while longer.” He called back to her, striding across the hangar to join her. To see whether these cookies from his fellow Titan could really rival Eva’s Dawning cooking. _

_ He would end up taking a bag of them home to Ikora later that night. _


End file.
